Same-Sex Marriage Pros and Cons

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The state of same-sex marriage is constantly changing. If you live in a state that allows same-sex marriage, or a similar legal union, there are many complex issues you have to evaluate before deciding whether it is right for you and your partner. Even if you live in a state with lesser domestic partnerships, many of the same issues apply. Here are some pros and cons of same-sex marriage to consider before taking the plunge.

Children and Your Rights

If you plan on having or raising children, your status as a couple greatly affects your rights regarding your children. In marriage, both partners have the same rights and responsibilities and in a divorce, both partners can seek custody and visitation rights like any married couple. Upon death, the remaining parent automatically becomes the primary legal parent. Absent marriage, this is generally not the case. If you choose to raise children without being married, the right to make decisions on things such as medical and school decisions will rest with only one of the parents and won't pass to a partner at death.

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Joint Property Rights

Marriage generally creates a presumption of joint ownership of property accrued during the marriage. The presumption is the opposite for unmarried couples, where your property will be presumed to be owned by whoever acquired it. Deciding which presumption works best for you and your partner can be helpful in deciding whether or not to get married.


While the Federal Government does not recognize same-sex marriages under DOMA (the Defense of Marriage Act), several states now recognize and issue licenses for gay marriages, while many others offer all or some state-level spousal rights to domestic partnerships. This recognition began with a landmark decision in November of 2003, when the highest court of Massachusetts handed down a decision that the prohibition of same-sex violated the state’s constitution. On May 17, 2004, Massachusetts was the first state to provide marriage equality for gay couples by issuing marriage licenses.
It would take nearly three years before another state followed the example of Massachusetts. In October of 2007, Connecticut’s Supreme Court voted in favor of gay marriages based upon the belief that not to do so would violate the rights of gay couples to receive equal protection under constitutional guarantees.
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As early as 2005, Connecticut’s legislature had decided to pass a same sex civil union bill, the first in the U.S. not pushed through by a court decision. This ruling paved the way for other states to follow suit, although it would take heated discussions and several years before much progress was made.
Although California’s Supreme Court ruled that gay couples can marry, this ruling is on hold due to the implementation of Proposition 8, an amendment to California’s constitution that defines marriage as existing between a man and a woman. An appeal has been issued, but results are still pending. All same-sex marriages that took place in California prior to Proposition 8 are considered valid, offering a touch of success for the time being and a sense of hope for the future.


Dividing Your Property

One of the effects of marriage's joint property status is that if you divorce, regardless of who is at fault, both partners are typically entitled to half of the property accumulated during the marriage. Note that this also applies to liability for debts. For unmarried couples, each partner typically leaves with whatever they accumulated and responsibility for debts in their name. Finally, married couples have a right to seek alimony, whereas unmarried couples may have to account for this in a pre-marriage agreement.

Death and Taxes

Marriage creates a legal framework for dealing with issues that result from death, whether regarding property, parental rights or taxes. To create these effects as an unmarried couple, significant time and expenses will have to be spent establishing a similar relationship by contract. Even then, some things can't be recreated through contract, such as freedom from inheritance and gift taxes.

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Another issue to keep in mind is the host of property-transfer taxes that by default don't apply to married couples, but do apply to unmarried couples. It can make moving assets around in a cost efficient way very difficult for unmarried couples.

Government Benefits

This is one of the largest reasons to get married, because the government provides a lot of benefits exclusively to married couples. A small sample of these benefits include Social Security benefits, health care benefits, nursing home care, and unpaid leave from your job to care for family members. Federal benefits are not available to same-sex married couples for the most part, but benefits may be available under state law.

Formalities

Marriage, for all of its pros and cons, requires that certain formalities be performed, which may or may not be what you want. Unmarried couples can get together, and break up, without all the formalities (and court hearings) required for married couples.

Immigration

Typically, legal marriage is the most reliable way of become a citizen in the U.S. The federal Defense of Marriage Act prohibits federal recognition of same-sex marriages, however, so a same-sex marriage won't have any effect on an individual's immigration status. In fact, getting a same-sex marriage can sometimes threaten the nonresident's visa application. At present, if one partner is a nonresident, it is generally advisable not to get married.

Decide What Is Best For You and Your Partner

Given all of the above issues and factors, spend some serious time with your partner considering same-sex marriage pros and cons. If immigration status isn't an issue, you plan on raising kids, and you're ok with taking on the other partner's debts, then getting married may makes sense. On the other hand, if immigration status is an issue, you don't necessarily want to be burdened with the other person's debts, or institutional marriage just isn't for you, then it may not be right for you. One final consideration involves the constant state of flux that same-sex marriage is still in. The list of which states support it, which have a quasi-marriage option available, and which states have rejected same-sex marriage is constantly changing. For instance in California, same-sex marriage was granted by court ruling, but then later overturned by popular vote. If you are determined to get married, waiting too long may cost you that option. Finally, always consider consulting a lawyer who is familiar with same-sex marriage and similar laws in your state. http://lawyer-help.blogspot.com/